Lessons from "Little Women"

I didn't grow up with cable, so Christmas never included 24 hours straight of "The Christmas Story" or any other countless holiday movies. But it is certainly one aspect of Christmas that I enjoy now. So when I laid down one night and saw that Louisa May Alcott's "Little Women" was on, I was thrilled. I remember really liking the movie when I was younger, but I seemed to get so much more out of it this time. There were a few things that really struck me this time. I don't know if it is because I am getting old, or if it the phase of life I am in, but I wanted to share.

1- Simplicity - I loved all the Christmas decorations: the hand-tied garland that flanked every entryway, the bows tied from left-over red scraps. I am so often ashamed by my ridiculous amount of possessions, purchased for a ridiculous amount of money at some store, or from some garage sale. After watching the movie, I was inspired to make my own wreath. Something I have always wanted to do. It wasn't crazy hard, it didn't take forever, but it certainly took time. It took energy, and I ended up with something I was proud to put on my door. But what if I had to make everything I used? Every article of clothing that had to be cut and sewn? Every grain of wheat that had to be harvested, dried and ground? Would I think twice about my "needs"? Something as simple as chicken stock, bread, pasta, butter - what if I had to make these things everytime you wanted it? Perhaps I would be more cautious of the things I use.

2- Simple Food - The March family has fallen on hard times during the war, as has the whole community. On Christmas morning they lay a breakfast spread that each girl marvels at. The main delight? Bread with butter. Later, Joe is in New York and has meet Prof. Bear. At one point he hands her a gift - a simple orange. Later that night she writes by candlelight while eating her pealed orange. Would I be satisfied with a simple orange as my bedtime snack? I think about my options each night for a snack. The food in my fridge, freezer and pantry could probably feed my family for weeks, maybe months. I work hard to make simple, unprocessed foods for my family. Yet thinking about this made me realize just how far from "simple" I live.

3- Some things don't change - I never liked Amy, in the book or the movie. I still remember reading the book as a child, and throwing the book across the room when Amy marries Laurie. And I was so upset when she waisted a whole months rag money on limes. What a silly desire. But don't we all do that, buy into something simple that every one else wants? I do it. The "all natural" looking toys I like my children to have, trendy clothes, a well-designed home. These are my 26 limes that cost my family a whole months rag money.

4- I am old - I remember watching this movie when I was in highschool, and I was not satisfied at all when Joe ended up with Prof. Bear. Why? Because Laurie was a young, energetic character while Prof. Bear was old. What happened when I watched it this time? Somehow Prof Bear wasn't so old. He was charming, intelligent, and sophisticated. The movie certainly didn't change, it must be me. I must be getting old, because the ending was so much more satisfying this time.

I watched the movie with Annalia this time. I know it was silly, to think that she would enjoy it at her age. She didn't. She kept asking if we could watch "An American Tale" instead. I really hope I didn't ruin it for her. At the end, she said "I didn't like that movie." Probably had something to do with Joe (a boy's name) ending up with the old guy.

Moon Festival

Remember the beginning of the summer when I shared about our disastrous journey to the National Zoo in DC? (I'm not a true blogger, so I don't know how to link to past stories - sorry). I won't bore you with the details, but it involved a long drive, traffic, no parking, vomiting, and ultimately an early end to the day.

I have learned my lesson.

Last February my girls discovered NiHao KaiLan, a Nick Jr. show that is basically Dora The Explorer, but for Chinese culture. I hate to admit it, but I kind of like the show and its eastern, "think of the group" way of solving problems.

Anyway,

They learned about the Chinese Moon Festival, where you eat dinner under the full moon and eat moon cakes. So of course, me with my love for anything that has to do with a culture other than my own, decided to enlighten my children and make moon cakes with them. I got some pretty weird looks at the Asian market when I was asking for the ingredients. Apparently no one eats moon cakes in the winter - as the festival is in the fall. I guess it is kind of like looking for Little Debbie Christmas Tree Cakes in August.

So we waited - all summer - looking forward to the Moon Festival. Looking back, it is kind of silly. It isn't like there is some cool meaning behind the festival that we could focus on. Just another one of those "turning of the seasons" kind of holiday that is part of most cultures.

Silly or not, I planned an elaborate family outing to Chinatown in DC. And by elaborate, I mean we had no other plan than to just go downtown and eat at a Chinese restaurant. Yup, I drove to the metro, paid the parking and the train fare, dragged the double stroller and my baby in a sling through the DC Metro - just to eat at a Chinese Restaurant in Chinatown.

And it was totally worth it. Only you and I know that what we did wasn't a big deal. My girls had no clue. According to them, we had taken them to China itself, with roasted ducks hanging in the windows and signs written in unreadable (for us) Chinese characters. We went to the "Wok 'n' Roll" (corny, huh?) where the girls had bubble tea, dumplings and ramen. The servers were impressed with Annalia's Chinese words (Thank you KaiLan), and they were thrilled with Xander.

I love going places that are so influenced by another culture that the workers barely speak English. It makes you think you are getting the real thing, not just take-out General Tso's Chicken. I knew I was in one of those places when a waitress came up to me and offered to hold Xander while I ate. I can't even imagine that happening at a "Friday"s or "Chili"s. So I happily handed him off and devoured my Chow Mein. Justin just stared at me in shock.

After our yummie and uneventful meal, we packed the kids back up into the stroller and sling, and I handed the girls their mooncakes. (purchased, I learned that no one makes their own moon cakes). I had thought of taking them into a little store to buy a souvenir. You know, something else to make the trip all that way worth it. But they were ready to go home, and I didn't argue.

purposeful disappointment

Nobody wants their child to be spoiled, but it isn't always an easy thing to do. I look around our house, filled to capacity of things we think we "need". I only buy toys for the kids for birthdays and Christmas, yet there always seems to be more than we can handle.

Annalia has been looking forward to her birthday for quite a while now. I guess she is finally old enough to understand that it is a day all about her, she gets things she wants, and of course, she gets to request whatever cake she wants.

She made it very clear that she wanted 3 things. A little sewing machine, a pink pillow pet, and a pink cake with blue butterflies. So simple, so little. Yet I didn't want to start a precedence that would eventually lead to extravagant birthdays with lots of expensive gifts. I prepared her for the idea that she MAY not get everything she asked for. Lucky me, she was eventually ok with it. She told me all she wanted was the little sewing machine and she would make her own pillow pet. (Can you tell she is my child?)

Now, I knew that a little sewing machine was not the most practical gift. She is a little to young to REALLY use it. But it was all she talked about, all she wanted. Did I "give in" to this one desire, or purposefully disappoint her that she won't always get whats she wants? Well, like so many other things, I let circumstances decide for me. I happened to be in Joann's without the girls and saw that the little tiny sewing machines were on clearance, and only 1 was left.

So I got it.

And I didn't get the pillow pet - but I am not sure that should count, because I did let the grandparents know that was what she wanted. And, come on, what grandparent is going to pass up the opportunity to get the prized gift?

And of course I was going to make her a special cake - that is just what I do.

Then, the day before her birthday, I get mega-sick. Could barely get up, was in no shape to make a pink cake with blue butterflies. The next morning I was feeling a little better, but not even close to good. She was disappointed, but didn't really understand that there was no way I was going to be able to make her cake. On the way to church, I have a great idea. I will swing through Dunkin Donuts and get her a donut with pink frosting. She is thrilled, and all seems to be well. Until I get to the window and realize that I left my wallet at home.

So much for worrying about getting her everything she wanted. It seems I was able to disappoint her without even trying. And of course I felt so bad. Who wants to make their beautiful 4-year-old cry on her birthday?

All in all, it was a great day, and she loved (almost) every moment of it. You should see the way her face lit up when she opened the sewing machine, and then the PINK pillow pet. That girl was in high heaven. And to top it off, I had Justin pick up a dozen donuts as her "cake", and you would have had no idea that just hours earlier she was crying over the loss of her pink cake with blue butterflies.

A Green One

I recently made a batch of trail mix for the girls. Which, of course, included m&m's. And I fully expected the girls to eat that first (Come on - who wouldn't?) It was especially cute watching Naomi. She would pick up each piece of candy-coated chocolate and declare, "I found a red one!!" or "I found a blue one!!" It was as if each new discovery was another reason to celebrate.

Later, I was at the grocery store and Naomi was in the front seat - an uncommon occurrence, as she prefers to walk the isles with her big sister. I was mostly focusing on the grocery list, but every once in a while I would hear Naomi exclaim, "I found a green one!!" I didn't think much about it. I figured she was finding colors in the store and making a game of it. In fact, I was even a little proud of my cute little 2-year-old as she showed off her color skills.

Then I happened to look at her right before one of these little bursts of color excitement. She digs her finger into her nose, pulls out a nice, big boogie, and shouts - "I found a green one!!"

Eat Your Words

Isn't it so rewarding to prove someone wrong after they have said something not-so-nice about you. Perhaps you overheard so-and-so mention your less than stellar housekeeping skills, and then the next time they visit your house happens to be in impeccable order. Those are always good days.

Monday was not one of those days. Someone recently asked me what the biggest challenge has been with adding a 3rd child. My answer was immediate and definite - going out. It is a juggling act to get myself and 3 kids ready, into the car, with everything we need for the outing, into the store, around the store, through the check-out, and then back home. And since Xander is only 3 months old, I am still in the trial and error stage.

Oh the choices - keep Xander in that awful infant seat, only to have something else to drag around after he has woken up and is crying because he hates the thing. Or put him in the sling, knowing that at some point I will probably have to carry a kicking and screaming Naomi because I didn't let her run wild (as her heart so desires.)

I know now that the first time to a new place should be thought of as "training" and I shouldn't go with the expectation of actually accomplishing what you would expect to accomplish at said place. But knowing this and doing this are 2 different things. We took a trip to the library on Monday. We have gone often enough that the girls now know what is expected of them. However, we hadn't been in a few weeks - just enough time for them to forget. To top it off, I had forgotten the sling, which means I was down an arm at all times.

It all started out decent enough. I held Xander as my 2 darling daughters held each others hands and walked gracefully into the library. On our way in an older woman looked at me and said, "How sweet, we could all learn a thing or 2 from you." I told her she may want to reserve her praise until the end of the trip. And boy was I right. I spent the entire time chasing Naomi, putting her into time-out, telling Annalia to stay in the kid's section and not follow me as I stop Naomi from pulling every book off the shelves. I don't think we were in the building for more than 5 minutes before I decided we needed to leave. Of course, that meant dragging a very resistant Naomi through the checkout line (where of course I had fines to pay, because it was just that sort of day) and out the door.

I don't know if that nice lady was still in the building, witnessing my desperate attempt to discipline a 2 year old in public, but I am sure she was ready to eat her words.

A Coffee Can of buttons

You know how you have these memories from your childhood that seem so simple, yet so beautiful. Climbing a certain tree in your backyard? That one place on the playground that you and your friends always hung out at during recess?

One of mine is a coffee can of buttons. I know it sounds silly, but my mom had a coffee can filled with random buttons under her sewing table that I loved to play with. I loved the feeling of digging my hands deep into the can. How all the buttons were so smooth. I loved looking at all the different types of buttons there were, sorting them out. Does this make sense to anyone else besides me? I don't know what the draw was, but I loved it.

But how do you get a ton of buttons? Have you ever checked the price on them? It is ridiculous. You can spend over 1 dollar for 2 buttons. At that price, it would cost a pretty penny to fill up a whole bucket.

So when I say my friend's tub of buttons at sewing camp, I went a little bizerk. All those same childhood feelings came rushing back as I dug my hands into the buttons. I guess Andrea pitied the look she saw on my face, because she let me take them home.

And of course, as soon as I get home, I want to share my childhood memory with my girls, and let them play in this big ol' bucket of buttons.

WHAT IN THE WORLD WAS I THINKING? Buttons - EVERYWHERE. It was a nice memory - but now I feel bad for my mom having to pick up after me all those years ago. Although, it is cool to see that Naomi seems to have the same fascination with a bucket of buttons as I did. And I can already see her, 28 years old, chasing down rolling buttons as her 2 year old indulges in her mommy's impractical, nostalgic whim.

Never a Dull Moment

Sometimes a long day can lead to tired kids, an early bedtime, and some much needed R&R for Mommy. But more often than not, a long day leads to exhausted children, a chaotic night, and a mommy wishing her glass of wine was a stiff drink.

Anyone wanna guess which night I had tonight?

Justin and I knew it was going to be a long day for us and for the kids, so we planned accordingly. And amazingly things went very much according to plan. We didn't forget

anything at church, we got in and out of a sit-down lunch in less than 45 minutes, and Naomi even took a nap in the church nursery during the whole memorial service.

I finally took the kids home to feed them supper and put them to bed. Justin, unfortunately, had to stay at church for a meeting. So it was all up to me. The kids needed a bath, so - silly me - I decided to give them one. Not that big of a deal, now that Xander is old enough to be in the big tub (in his little infant sling, of course.) As I am sudsing up Little Man, Annalia is in the tub helping me. I had already stripped Naomi down, all ready to toss her in once I got Xander out.

All is going well, even though I seem to be smelling Naomi's previously poopy diaper quite strongly. I make a mental note to take out the diaper pail - I figured it must be pretty full and that is why I am still smelling her dirty diaper. Until I look over, and see that Naomi apparently wasn't finished filling her diaper. She had taken a nice-sized dump on the floor. And since I was so intent on making sure my 3 month old didn't sink below the water, she had enough time to step in it multiple times, and then try to wipe it off of her foot on various things.

Poor Xander had no idea why he was left to scream on my bed, wrapped only in a towel (I sure hope he didn't pee and I just don't know) while I hastily got Naomi clean enough to dump her in the tub. Eventually, I got everyone clean and in bed (well, almost. Annalia is still going potty - in the toilet, thank goodness, and not on the floor.)

On the plus side - my bathroom floor is now spic-n-span.