Just go for it

Brave. Adventurous. Crazy. However you want to label me, it all comes out the same. I have always been the kind of person that does what I want, even when it isn't very convenient to do so. And having a 3rd child hasn't exactly changed that.

Earlier this year, Justin found out he would be going to a computer conference in Denver in June. And since that just happens to be the city that my best friend was moving to, naturally I planned on taking the whole family. Never mind the fact that my 3 baby was due the end of May. I figured I had taken a 6 week old on a plane before - what could be different. Mmm, maybe the 3 year old and 2 year old that would also be tagging along?

I used to be able to just go somewhere without much planning or thought. Boy am I glad I took some time to prepare for this trip. Our carry-ons were filled with books, crafts, and of course, the computer and mp3 player with all their favorite songs. Clearly the music helped them both take a good nap on that first flight.

As we were planning the trip, I kept reminding my friend that I have 3 kids. I repeat, 3 kids. There were others visiting as well. Each couple with their 1, very manageable, child. Everything is complicated when you have multiple children. Going out to eat (thank you Jesus for booths!), getting around (that $110 upgrade to the minivan was SO worth it,) and sightseeing (Mmm, unless that Museum has the word "Children's" in front of it, I think we'll pass.)

But really, I had a great time. I may have spent a lot of my time chasing kids around, feeding children, telling stories and initiating new activities to keep everyone entertained, but I also learned that the best times are often had when all the other plans go to pot. Like when we had to duck out early while the other checked out downtown Denver, we stumbled upon a Butterfly Pavilion on our way home (score!). Or when Miriam came to pick us up from the airport and we somehow shoved 2 large suitcases, 3 kids and us (me holding another carseat on my lap) into her 94 Toyota Carolla. And, of course, there are the things you do despite having children, like going to the 12:01am opening of Eclipse, praying that Xander will take the bottle (first time) with formula (because I forgot my pump.)

There have been plenty of activities over the past few years that I have opted out of because I thought it would be too much of a hassle dragging my kids along. And I am sorry for missing almost every one of them. Last night I took Annalia and Naomi to the carnival. At the last minute, I decided to take Xander too. (Justin had a lot of work so I felt bad leaving him with a crying baby.) I admit, I started with a bad attitude - I knew it would be a disaster. And for the most part, it was. It was packed, we had to park a half a mile down the street (beyond the end of the sidewalk.) When we finally arrived, I learned that both girls were too small for any of the rides. So we spent $10 for them to throw a dart and pick up a ducky, and finished off our trip with an ice cream cone for each girl.

But as they held hands and licked their melting ice cream on the hike back to our car, I was glad I took them. Not because it was a "successful" trip, but simply because we did it. Call me crazy, but I LIKE it when things aren't perfect. Probably because it makes for a better story :)

Next crazy adventure - planning on taking my 3 kids (probably by myself) to Dutch Wonderland to meet up with my friend and her 3 kids. Watch out!

2 hands, 3 kids

I have heard the sentiment before. Sometimes with understanding and camaraderie. Other times it is with a cynical tone. Either way, the fact remains that I now have more children than I can hold on to myself.

I will admit, I am a little intimidated by the idea of raising 3 children - at the same time. Not just the emotional and social stuff, but even the logistics of it. You can't fit 3 carseats across the backseat of a typical car. We won't all fit on the 3-seat side of the airplane anymore, we could take up a whole row now (if we wanted to pay for the little one's ticket.) Everything just takes a little extra time.

Well, I have begun my journey into the land of 3 kids. It has been a peaceful first month. With lots of help from Justin, and my MIL, I haven't had to take all 3 kids on an outing by myself yet. That is, until yesterday. We are headed on a trip, and I needed to get a bunch of stuff. The idea of 2 hours wandering around Super Walmart, chasing after my 2-year-old had me sweating. Thankfully, there is a really nice Target nearby that just added fresh produce (and I needed some fruit.) So I packed us all up - said a prayer - and headed out.

As I pulled into the parking lot, I saw a space open next to the cart corral (thank you God.) and in that corral was one of those mega-carts that has 2 seats attached for the older kids. I thought this would be perfect for my first outing. All 3 kids contained sounded like a good idea. (All you seasoned moms can laugh at my naivety - I give you permission.)

I needed to exchange an item, so we started at the Customer Service Desk. She informed me that I needed to go and get the other size I needed, and come back. So I start pushing that monster of a cart around the infant section, looking for what I needed. As I am bumping into everything, Naomi is already begging to get out and walk. Annalia is repeatedly telling me she needs to go to the bathroom. And Xander wakes up - unhappy to be in his carseat - and probably just a little hungry. Great.

Thank God for the Family Restroom. One big room where we can all regroup. (not to mention no one can hear me as I reprimand Naomi for sticking her hand in the toilet water.) It is here that I decide the mega-cart is not for me. I am going to just going to suck it up and teach Naomi how to stay next to me. (insert lots of prayers here.) I put Xander in the sling, get him latched on and covered up (nothing stresses me out more than listening to my crying baby while I try to shop.) and we head back out into Target.

I am happy to say, that this story has a happy ending. With my nursing baby in the sling, I marveled at my oldest take care of her little sister. Although Naomi started in the cart, she soon wanted to be walking with Annalia. You need to know, that this has NEVER worked out before. But this time, she stayed in the same isle as me, and always returned when I called her. She did remove quite a few items from the lower shelves, but always put them back when I told her to. I was shocked - completely amazed. Naomi, who is usually one to test every boundary, over and over again, behaved beautifully under the example of her older sister.

As we left the store, I almost teared up when I saw Annalia take Naomi's hand to walk her across the parking lot. It made me think that I even though I have more kids that I can hang on to myself, I do have enough hands. They just may not all be my own.

Learning my own lessons

Well, I am now the proud mother of not 1 or 2, but 3 children. And now that Xander is 3 weeks old and has finally woken up, the real fun begins. The last few weeks have been a wonderful blur of the perfect, sleeping infant while I continue with the job of raising the 2 older girls. I am thankful God made it that way. It gave me 3 weeks to reinforce the rules with Annalia and Naomi, assuring them that Mommy still loves (and disciplines) the same, even with the new addition in the house.I had prepared myself for the girls to have a bit of a difficult time when Xander finally joined our family. Remembering Annalia's reaction to Naomi (which was great) I completely expected Annalia to transition beautifully. And I thought that my introverted little Naomi would be the one to struggle. Boy, was I ever wrong. Somehow, the presence of Xander in the house has brought Naomi out of her shell. When guest come over, she is the center of attention, talking, laughing, and just having a great time. Not to mention she is IN LOVE with her brother. Really, she can't keep her hands off him.

Annalia, on the other hand, is having a more difficult time. Don't get me wrong, she loves her brother just as much as Naomi does. She loves to hold him, get things for him, talks to him. It is adorable. But she is having a hard time adjusting to the ramifications of a 3rd kid in the house. I like to think that I am a fairly good mom, but I certainly have my faults and shortcomings. The main one being that I tend to take the path of least resistance. When Annalia wanted something, or wanted me to do something, if I could do it, I often did. I really only said no if it was going to hurt her, or if I really couldn't accommodate. I am still that same way, however the amount I can do has just decreased. She is having a hard time with this. Often throwing fits when things don't go the way she wants. I have repeatedly had to tell her "Sometimes things don't always go our way, and we just have to learn how to deal with it."

Well, she must be learning something, because just yesterday she was able to apply that lesson in a very humbling way (humbling for myself.) For the past 3 weeks, I have been very blessed to have all 3 kids down for an afternoon nap at the same time. I know - I should be on my knees thanking God right now. However, yesterday it was not to be. Naomi - who ALWAYS takes a nap - who has ALWAYS been a great sleeper - hardly ever gives me trouble in that area, decided not to take a nap. And if Naomi doesn't sleep, there is no way Annalia is going to go down. It didn't really help that I was already a little tired. I took them all downstairs, hoping they would watch a show and I could rest on the couch with Xander for 26 minutes. Lucky me, though, Naomi decides this is the perfect time to test just how much she can get away with before I drag myself off the couch to punish her.

Needless to say, I was soon in tears. I tend to throw myself a pity party when the girls miss naptime (and I miss "me-time"). Don't get me wrong, I had every right to cry and be disappointed, but I was then reminded that I could chose a better reaction. Soon, my 3-year-old is at my side, stroking my hair, saying, "Remember Mommy, sometimes things don't go the way we want, and we just have to learn how to deal with it."

From the mouth of babes - words of wisdom. And it was just what I needed.

Xander's Birth Story

For those of you who love the play-by-play labor story- read on. You know me, I don't mince words. If you are the type who likes the Sport's Center version, well - you can ask Justin :)

To start, I had been having contractions every night the entire month of May. Now, I know that this can happen with any labor. Although I am glad that it got me a head start on the whole dilating process, it also served to make me very anxious. Seeing as how I didn't know my EXACT due date, and knowing that Naomi was 2 weeks early, I spent all of May wondering if tonight would be the night. By the time the weekend of the 15th rolled around (a weekend I thought I would be taking care of a newborn) I was ready for him to come.

So, I took the advice of my midwives. I sent the girls to Nana's, and Justin and I had a relaxing date night, with all that a date night entails. I guess it did the trick, because by 4am, my body was emptying itself of all contents (beginning with my stomach and intestines.) When the contractions continued to get stronger and closer together, we were pretty confident that we would have the baby that day. Since the girls were next door, Justin and I had a relaxing morning together. Although I knew that I was still in early labor, at 9:30am we decided to head to Annapolis to see how things were going. (With Naomi's pregnancy, I went from "I think we have lots of time" to "Oh My Goodness, I Have To Push!" in less than an hour.)

We went to the Birthing Center, and I was only 4cm (I had been 3 the week before). So we decided to go for a walk, and since I was feeling better, we went for breakfast. It was a BEAUTIFUL day, and I actually enjoyed a morning just walking (and laboring) with Justin. After walking for a couple hours, the contractions were getting more intense, but still manageable. So, we headed back, just to check things out again. This time I was 5cm, so we went for a walk around the hospital grounds. It was interested seeing the different reactions between the people at the hospital ("Are you ok?!? Do you need us to rush you to labor and delivery?!?") compared to the people at the birthing center ("All right, you look like you are in early/active labor, and doing great - want to go for another walk?") After an hour of walking the hospital grounds and stopping every so often to assure people that I was ok, I was getting a bit tired, and the contractions were getting more intense. So, the midwives officially admitted me to the Birthing Center around 12:30pm.

I thought now would be a nice time to try out this whole "jacuzzi laboring" thing. So they filled up the big tub and I hopped in. Justin - remember, he has been aimlessly walking this whole time with me - sat down next to the tub and promptly feel asleep. The warm water felt good. Too good. After 10 minutes, and only 1 contraction, I was afraid I had just slowed down my progress. As nice as it felt, the last thing I wanted to do was prolong the inevitable. So I got out, got dressed, and started pacing. Praying that the contractions would come back. (I know, sounds a little insane, but hey, I wanted to get that baby out.)

I decided to go for another walk. Let me just take this moment to say that I LOVED my time with the Birthing Center. It was so wonderful to just labor in a way that felt comfortable and productive. So, around the hospital grounds I went again. Only this time, I was a little more motivated - practically powerwalking. The contractions returned to the same intensity and consistency as before, and I was glad that I hadn't completely stopped the process. But I was also getting pretty tired. By now, I had been walking for about 3 hours. I decided to head back and labor in bed for a bit.

I got into the room, and all of the sudden, my water broke. That was kind of cool. I have never experienced that before, and I kept thinking that I wouldn't notice it if it happened. But, it was just like everyone described. I felt a pop, and then a gush of water. My excitement was short lived, as with the breaking of the water, often comes the "strong stuff." The midwives checked me, and I was only 6cm, so I decided now might be a nice time for the tub.

I assume this is the time I hit transition, because my thoughts went from, "Oh good, he is definitely coming today," to "What in the world was I thinking!?! Why did I think I wanted to do this again!?!" Pretty soon, I was telling them I needed to push. Now, Justin and I had talked about the whole water birth thing. I was ok going either way, but Justin was pretty sure he thought it would be too "Discovery Channel." So, I told him that when it came time to push, he was going to have to get me out of the water, because I knew that I would not be in any state of mind to move myself. And, turns out I was right. We didn't expect me to be ready to push so soon, and when Justin asked if I wanted to get out of the water, I told him there was no way I was moving any more than necessary. (Ok, it probably came out more as a whimpering, "I can't move.") Suffice it to say, I stayed in the tub - and pushed.

By this time, I was pretty tired. And for some reason, I was only half-heartedly pushing. Later, Justin and the midwives said that I had great control during the pushing portion. Little did they know it was just exhaustion. Finally, a sane thought pushed its way through, reminding me that if I pushed, he would come out, and then the pain would be over. Ahh, now that was motivation. I got serious then, and he was out. That was at 3:33pm, Thursday, May 20th.

Words can not express the emotions of that exact moment. He barely cried (just enough to count on the Apgar) and was purple all over. Apparently I did better with my breathing this time. I think it had something to do with the fact that I allowed myself to make noise. I was pretty noisy. As a friend said earlier, "Some woman scream their babies out." I figured screaming was way better than holding my breath. He pinked up pretty quickly, and he was perfect. We moved to the bed to deal with the rest.

No one warned me that the contractions to release the placenta get more intense with each subsequent labor. I was a little surprised at the intensity of these contractions. I guess it makes sense, and all in all, I should be thankful that my body did what it needed to do to prevent hemorrhaging. Soon, that part was over too, and my little Xander was latched on and eating like a champ.

Although I was tired, I felt really great, and was looking forward to going home so introduce Xander to his sisters. I ate a little food, my blood pressure was good, and my uterus was contracting as needed. I was cleared for release at 7pm. The girls came over, were both enamored by their little brother. After a couple hours, they were getting a little overwhelmed, and went back to Nana and PopPop's for bed. It was nice, just me, Justin and Xander for that first night. It was wonderful to be in our own bed. To not be woken up every couple hours to have my vitals checked, or to make sure the baby was eating enough, or all the other million things the nurses have to make sure they do when you are a patient. And just as importantly, Justin was able to get a full nights sleep, making him rested and useful the next day, when I knew I would need him.

All in all, it has been great. I mean, don't get me wrong. I just went through 12 hours of labor, and now I have 3 young kids running around. It isn't all roses. But, when I step back for a second, and just enjoy my amazing family, I feel blessed. I have an amazingly supportive husband, (who made delicious waffles, from scratch, this morning.), a beautiful 3 year old, who has been so helpful, throwing away diapers, putting toys away. I am amazed at Naomi's gentleness with her brother. She really does love him. And I have a beautiful, perfect little boy, who I look forward to getting to know more and more.

Announcing Xander Ryan Hibbard

Xander Ryan Hibbard

May 20, 2010

3:33pm

7 pounds, 8 ounces

19 1/2 inches

Getting Ready for Baby Brother

Well, it is May 20th, the official due date for this little guy, and I must admit, we are all getting pretty excited to meet him. I can hardly believe I am about to give birth to my 3rd child. There is something special about it, being a 3rd child myself. Something I have always been secretly proud of. I like my "middle child" qualities, the fact that I grew up with others always around, that I have never really had my own room and things. I like that I don't view material things as "mine," but rather "stuff that I use." This had effected how I have prepared for each child. When pregnant with Annalia, we were careful to register for all gender neutral items (the big stuff, at least.) With Naomi, I think the only new thing I bought to prepare for her was a coming home outfit. She didn't seem to mind all the hand-me downs. Now, because this is a boy, a few new things were necessary. Justin probably didn't want me to bring him home from the hospital wrapped in pink flowers.

So, lately I have been having fun with boyish fabrics, and decided to make him a few special things.

We haven't moved Naomi out of the nursery yet, so I purchased a used changing table to put in the corner of our room to hold his daily needs. Annalia insisted on organizing the blankets. I thought it was sweet of her.

Justin is going to kill me for this, because I didn't tell him what he was putting on, or that I was taking a picture, or that I was going to post it. But I decided to make a nursing cover up this time. I have always used a blanket before. But, knowing that I will be out and about more often, I thought I would try it out.

Last year, I designed a carseat/stroller bunting that I sold. So, I thought I should make one for my own child. So, we have the carseat all set up and ready to go. And if he comes on a rainy day, he will be protected. If he comes on a hot, sunny day, we can just leave it unzipped. Either way, we'll be ready.

My boppy cover wasn't really girl (in fact, it was less girly than this fabric looks in the picture.) But it was made of velour, which is quite hot. So, I wanted a cool, cotton cover. However, Annalia has decided that this is her new favorite pillow. She has slept with it every night for the past week, wrapping it around herself. I have warned her that she will need to share it with Baby Brother. We will see how that goes. Here she is nursing her little Aslan.

Curse of the Creative

When Annalia told me that she wanted a mermaid costume, of course the first thing out of my mouth was, "Sure, we could make one." In fact, Annalia hears this so much that when we are in the store, she no longer asks for things, but asks if we can make it. (It is actually a good way to avoid the "I wants" in a store.)

I would love to say that my impulse to make, rather than buy, is based on the honorable desire to create something beautiful. But no - it is really about some warped rules that I have made for myself. I am not sure when I decided that commercialism was the root of all evil and should be avoided at all cost when raising my children. It probably has something to do with my desire to be different, and not have just another Disney-Princess-tee-shirt wearing girl running around. It is a pride thing (which, ironically, I am not proud of). I don't want to have to say, "Yes, I bought that Ariel mermaid costume because she wanted it." Somehow, in my head, it sounds better if I can say, "Oh, well, she wanted a mermaid costume, so I just whipped one up."

But that isn't exactly the case. She has been asking for this costume for weeks. Finally, we picked out some fabric, and another 2 weeks later, I started. It soon became a chore that I needed to finish before the baby came, and so I hurriedly finished this afternoon. Not exactly worrying about quality or perfection.

There are a couple things about this project that I am proud of though. For one, it only cost $1.50. I try to be frugal in my spending, and aware of the resources that I use in my daily life. One of the ways I achieve that, while still doing the crafts and projects I love, is by using the things I have. I did purchase a yard of fabric at Walmart, but everything else is scraps I had laying around. This is something I want to pass on to my children, using what you already have before purchasing something new.

The other pride, that I am truly proud of, is the joy this costume brought for Annalia. As soon as I put it on her, she exclaimed, "Look Mommy, I am a real mermaid now." And she swayed her hips, twirled around, and then ran outside to show her Nana. Knowing kids, and what happens to even the most beloved toys, I know that this outfit will eventually be shoved to the bottom of the dress-up box, and forgotten for months. But for now, she is blissfully happy to pretend that she is a real mermaid. And I am glad that my part in it was more than just an impulse buy, but rather a thought out, time consuming project that I endured for this moment of childhood joy.