Getting Ready for Baby Brother

Well, it is May 20th, the official due date for this little guy, and I must admit, we are all getting pretty excited to meet him. I can hardly believe I am about to give birth to my 3rd child. There is something special about it, being a 3rd child myself. Something I have always been secretly proud of. I like my "middle child" qualities, the fact that I grew up with others always around, that I have never really had my own room and things. I like that I don't view material things as "mine," but rather "stuff that I use." This had effected how I have prepared for each child. When pregnant with Annalia, we were careful to register for all gender neutral items (the big stuff, at least.) With Naomi, I think the only new thing I bought to prepare for her was a coming home outfit. She didn't seem to mind all the hand-me downs. Now, because this is a boy, a few new things were necessary. Justin probably didn't want me to bring him home from the hospital wrapped in pink flowers.

So, lately I have been having fun with boyish fabrics, and decided to make him a few special things.

We haven't moved Naomi out of the nursery yet, so I purchased a used changing table to put in the corner of our room to hold his daily needs. Annalia insisted on organizing the blankets. I thought it was sweet of her.

Justin is going to kill me for this, because I didn't tell him what he was putting on, or that I was taking a picture, or that I was going to post it. But I decided to make a nursing cover up this time. I have always used a blanket before. But, knowing that I will be out and about more often, I thought I would try it out.

Last year, I designed a carseat/stroller bunting that I sold. So, I thought I should make one for my own child. So, we have the carseat all set up and ready to go. And if he comes on a rainy day, he will be protected. If he comes on a hot, sunny day, we can just leave it unzipped. Either way, we'll be ready.

My boppy cover wasn't really girl (in fact, it was less girly than this fabric looks in the picture.) But it was made of velour, which is quite hot. So, I wanted a cool, cotton cover. However, Annalia has decided that this is her new favorite pillow. She has slept with it every night for the past week, wrapping it around herself. I have warned her that she will need to share it with Baby Brother. We will see how that goes. Here she is nursing her little Aslan.

Curse of the Creative

When Annalia told me that she wanted a mermaid costume, of course the first thing out of my mouth was, "Sure, we could make one." In fact, Annalia hears this so much that when we are in the store, she no longer asks for things, but asks if we can make it. (It is actually a good way to avoid the "I wants" in a store.)

I would love to say that my impulse to make, rather than buy, is based on the honorable desire to create something beautiful. But no - it is really about some warped rules that I have made for myself. I am not sure when I decided that commercialism was the root of all evil and should be avoided at all cost when raising my children. It probably has something to do with my desire to be different, and not have just another Disney-Princess-tee-shirt wearing girl running around. It is a pride thing (which, ironically, I am not proud of). I don't want to have to say, "Yes, I bought that Ariel mermaid costume because she wanted it." Somehow, in my head, it sounds better if I can say, "Oh, well, she wanted a mermaid costume, so I just whipped one up."

But that isn't exactly the case. She has been asking for this costume for weeks. Finally, we picked out some fabric, and another 2 weeks later, I started. It soon became a chore that I needed to finish before the baby came, and so I hurriedly finished this afternoon. Not exactly worrying about quality or perfection.

There are a couple things about this project that I am proud of though. For one, it only cost $1.50. I try to be frugal in my spending, and aware of the resources that I use in my daily life. One of the ways I achieve that, while still doing the crafts and projects I love, is by using the things I have. I did purchase a yard of fabric at Walmart, but everything else is scraps I had laying around. This is something I want to pass on to my children, using what you already have before purchasing something new.

The other pride, that I am truly proud of, is the joy this costume brought for Annalia. As soon as I put it on her, she exclaimed, "Look Mommy, I am a real mermaid now." And she swayed her hips, twirled around, and then ran outside to show her Nana. Knowing kids, and what happens to even the most beloved toys, I know that this outfit will eventually be shoved to the bottom of the dress-up box, and forgotten for months. But for now, she is blissfully happy to pretend that she is a real mermaid. And I am glad that my part in it was more than just an impulse buy, but rather a thought out, time consuming project that I endured for this moment of childhood joy.

Pieces of Me

Growing up, I remember quite a few times hearing my mother say, "Karlene, I hope you get a little girl JUST LIKE YOU!" It was usually following one of my antics that often left my mother exasperated. But when Annalia was born, and as I got to know her personality, I was so thankful that my mother's wish came true. Annalia is very much like me. Which is actually great, because I understand her. She is 100% a people person; slow to judge and quick to forgive. She doesn't harbor secrets and will tell you exactly what is on her mind if you ask her (and sometimes even when you don't.) Because I understand why she does what she does, it makes it so much easier to discipline and guide her. I already know how these characteristics can be a good thing, but more importantly, how they can be bad. I can start teaching her now that not everyone is so transparent, and how to deal with that. I can start teaching her how to hold on to her passion and enthusiasm for more than 3 minutes. And I will be ready when her open heart gets broken, reminding her that it is still ok to love freely.

And now I have my beautiful Naomi, whom I originally thought was almost the complete opposite. Naomi guards her feelings in and very judicious about who she opens up to. (After a year and a half, she finally started opening up to the nursery workers at church.) Not because she is shy - I have figured that out now. She is just careful with her heart. Something I very much do not understand. And I think here is where I think the intent of my Mom's declaration may actually come true. Now it is my challenge to appreciate this quality in Naomi, and encourage her as she makes deep, lasting friendships (as I know she will.) To admire her perseverance, and acknowledge her quiet, heartfelt actions.

Now of course, Annalia isn't EXACTLY like me, and Naomi isn't my COMPLETE opposite. It has been so fun to see Naomi's carefree personality come through these past few months. Although Annalia is very open to meeting new people, she is not as open to doing new things. This girl is just now learning how to slide down the slide on her own. I don't know what I was like as a toddler, but most people who know me, know that I am often the first to jump into some crazy adventure. And this is where I see myself in Naomi. She may not always tell me what she is thinking or how she feels, but I can see her sense of adventure coming through. On a recent trip to the beach, while Annalia was safe on the sand, making new friends, Naomi and I were down by the water's edge, feeling the roll of the waves over our feet. I recognized the look in her eyes as she gazed across the vast water. She longed to be out there, to know what was on the other side. And I did something I didn't even know was possible, I loved her even more.

Here - both girls in their outfit of choice. I just couldn't resist the contrast :)

The journey or the Destination

We knew it was going to be a winner of a day when it took us over 2 hours to go 25 miles to the National Zoo. Then upon arriving, the parking lots were full, so we had to find a garage in walking distance, and to top it off, I lost my breakfast in said parking lot. Grand start to our little "Family Day Trip."

It is Justin's spring break, and we thought it would be fun to take the girls places while we had the time off. It was supposed to be a nice day, so we thought, "Hey, how about a nice day at the zoo." How soon we forget that 85 degrees in Maryland is not a nice day when you are outside, walking, with 2 young kids. It didn't take long for both girls to start complaining.

And I was extra excited, because I had finally found the battery charger for our camera, and I was wanting to get all sorts of great pictures with the girls looking at the animals, having a grand ol' time. However, you won't find any of those shots in this post. I think they each actually saw about 2 animals each (and that is being generous on Naomi's part).

After a feeble attempt to see the animals, we decided to go out of the zoo for a quick street lunch of hotdogs and gatorade (which I passed on, per my episode earlier that morning.) For a few peaceful minutes we sat in the grass, ate lunch, and didn't have to discipline either girl for a whole 15 minutes.

Needless to say, we were ready to go home. (which took another 2 hours).

As we exited the zoo, Justin was commenting on the failure of our trip. Funny though, I didn't think it was. I think I have had enough experience traveling and doing things with my children that I have learned to adjust my goals. If my goal was to have a fun day at the zoo, looking at animals with 2 happy children, I would be setting myself up for disappointment. But if my goal is to get this kids out of the house, and do something unique and fun together as a family, then I think we still accomplished that. It may not have the been the photo-op I was hoping for, or

even really that enjoyable. But we went out together as a family.

And you know what? The first book Annalia wanted to read for bed tonight was the Library book about zebras. Because, you know she saw them today at the zoo.

The girls ended the day with a good, energy-busting, jump on the bed.

Unrestricted Self-expression

For all of you who live in the area and see Annalia on a regular basis, you have probably noticed that she is not one for wearing pants. In fact, the only time getting her into pants is NOT a fight, is when we have a jammie day. (Apparently pj pants are ok - I haven't introduced her to nightgowns yet.)

When I had girls, I was actually pretty excited at the chance to dress them up in cute/trendy outfits while I take them for outings and people say "oh, look at those adorable girls, aren't they just so cute." Actually, I have noticed that people are nicer to you when your kids look presentable.

Well, now that Annalia likes to have a say in what she wears, I have had to decide just what is important. Do I want to argue over whether her legs and arms are covered, or whether the shirt under her "cold" dress matches the tights she is wearing (let alone the dress.) Often I am able to suggest or manipulate her into at least a decent combination.

Last week, I decided to let her have at it. I told her that she could pick out whatever she wanted to wear (the rule of covering shoulders and legs still applied - it is cold out there!) and that I wouldn't suggest or change anything. Enjoy.

I think this was day 2 of Self-Expression Week. I had great intentions of taking pictures and blogging each day. But really, who are we kidding. I am lucky if I post a blog once a month.

(I told her to smile, I guess it was opposite day.) I was so glad when she picked out this dress. It was the first time she has worn it and I thought "Oh, yes! A simple black dress. How could she possible find a shirt that DOESN'T match?" Well, leave it to Annalia.

She also likes to pick out Naomi's clothes. But, since I had made no promises regarding Naomi's wardrobe, I vetoed the red sweatpants she had picked out for under this "dress".

She was thrilled with the rules this week. Normally, this is an "at home only" dress. But, she tested me, and I did say she could wear anything. So, this is what she wore to preschool. At least the shirt matched this time :) (Notice the ribbon around the head? Yeah, that was her idea too.)

Jesus has a big lap

I have learned a great many useful things from my friend Kimberly, but one little rhyme that I have loved, and the girls do it, is a little game called "This is the way the ladies ride." Both Annalia and Naomi love to sit on their Daddy's lap, while he bounces them up and down. It starts slow with the ladies riding. Speeds up a bit for the gentleman. It gets a little wild as they ride like cowboys. And then they go crazy fast as the cowgirls ride. (very feminist, I know, but it is a lot of fun.)

In Bible Study, we are going through the book of John, and Annalia has been learning so much. Of course, with her learning and understanding, comes lots and lots of questions. She knows that Jesus lives in her heart, and she knows that when she dies, she will get to go to heaven to be with Jesus. She also knows that Jesus loves children, and has heard the story many times of how Jesus invited all the children to come sit on his lap.

Now, as we wait for baby number 3 to come, Annalia and Naomi have noticed that my lap is starting to disappear. There is not longer enough room for both of them to sit comfortably for a story. I think this is a little upsetting to the both of them.

While in the car the other day, Annalia was asking her many, many questions. She told me that Jesus must have a really big lap, since he let all the kids come up on it. Then she told me that when she went to heaven to see Jesus, she was going to get up on his lap with all the other kids, and he would do "This is the way the Ladies ride." I thought it was pretty sweet.

The Death of Sharkbait, the Rebirth of Annalia

(Justin posted this of FB last week, and I thought it too important to not add here.)

Last week, Annalía asked Karlene to check on her Beta Fish that she affectionately named – Sharkbait. Apparently he didn’t seem to be eating his food, and when Karlene checked on him, he was as stiff as a board. When we told Annalía that her fish had died, we promised her that we would go to the store and buy more fish along with an aquarium. So, a few days later we picked up an aquarium with all the accessories and a handful of goldfish, a couple snails, and shrimp.

On the way out of the Walmart parking lot, I said, “Annalía, we have a lot of fish. How cool is that?”

“That’s so cool!” she responded excitedly.
A moment later, I heard “Abraham… Abraham… Abraham.”

“What does Abraham have to do with it?” I asked.

“Abraham and Lot,” she answered. It took me a second to realize that she had associated the word “a lot” with Lot the nephew of Abraham. I laughed.

“Daddy, was Lot a good person?” she asked.

I thought about Lot, his seemingly poor choices at time, but then again, he is listed in the Hebrews Faith Hall of Fame. “I think he was good person for the most part,” I answered.

Let me pause this story a moment to say that we’ve been blessed with a very articulate 3-year-old, which has proved to also be a challenge at times. Right now, we’re in the “why?” stage. Every answer we give, no matter how straightforward, is always responded by “why?”
As we continued our drive, our conversation switched back to her dead fish Sharkbait. “Why did Sharkbait die?” she asked. Since Sharkbait’s death, she’s been very inquisitive as to why he died and death in general, as morbid as it seems.

“He was old.” I answered. “Fish die when they get old.”

She seemed worried. “I don’t won’t to die.”

“I don’t want you to die either,” I responded. “But you know, animals and people die. Sometimes accidents happen or people get old.”

“Why?”

I thought about saying something like “because that’s just what happens,” but a truly inquisitive child deserves so much more. “Because,” I explained, “Adam and Eve disobeyed God, and because they disobeyed God and sinned, everyone has to die. But you know what Jesus said?”

“What?”

“Jesus said, that if you follow Him, you will go to heaven.”

“So, I won’t die?” she asked.

“Well, people still die here on earth, but they get to go to heaven and be with Jesus.”

She seemed a little scared of heaven. Then again, she’s scared of everything. “I don’t want to go to heaven,” she responded.

“Well,” I explained, “heaven is a wonderful place. But those who don’t follow Jesus sadly go to hell – a place filled with fire.”

“I want to go to heaven,” she stated. “Daddy, will Sharkbait go to heaven?”

Again, her question was beyond my theological understanding. I quickly mentally scanned my Scripture knowledge indexed in my head and then the Disney movies like “All Dogs Go to Heaven,” but I didn’t really know the answer to that question. I thought about it for a moment. “I’m not sure,” I responded.

We pulled into the driveway. I thought about getting her out and taking her inside; it was past her bedtime. But I stopped myself. “Annalía, would you like to follow Jesus?”

“Yes,” she responded.

“Well, would you like to tell him that you’d like to follow Him?”

I didn’t need to prompt her further. I didn’t need to say, “repeat after or me” or anything like that. Before I even finished that sentence. She was praying. “Jesus, I want to follow you. I don’t want to go to the bad place. Thank you for dying for me. Amen.”

One theological question I’ve pondered so much in the past year or so is the issue of salvation and the whole “once saved always saved” debate, along with what does it mean to believe in Jesus. As I’ve interacted more and more with teens who come from Christian homes and call themselves Christians (perhaps even said “the sinner’s prayer”), I’ve wondered about the legitimacy of their commitments, especially when studies show that 80% of them will walk away from their faith in their early twenties. “What does it mean to believe in Jesus? How do we follow Him? Can people say the sinner’s prayer and then just turn away from following Christ? Are they saved?” These are just a few of the cognitive questions I’ve been asking, not for my own salvation sake, but to better effectively explain to others about the significance of our commitments to Christ. When answering Annalía’s questions, I wanted to use terms that translate to our language, which is why I said “follow” instead of “believe.” As I studied John 6 this week for Bible Study Fellowship, I came to the realization that a lot of people want to follow Jesus for various reasons. The people in John 6 wanted free physical food, others do so because they don’t want to go to hell, but I believe Jesus wants us to follow Him because we love Him – because just as for the same reason we married our spouses, we want to spend every moment with Him. These commitments, I believe, will be much stronger because their foundation is greater. I tried not to focus on hell too much in our brief conversation, knowing that Annalía is afraid of absolutely anything – animals, water, amusement park rides, slides, etc. I didn’t want to scare her into following Jesus. I wanted His love to beckon her to do so.

As I sat in the front, and listened to her prayer from the back seat, I was so excited to be a part of leading Annalía to Christ. What an awesome opportunity to see a blooming seed that has been watered by so many people from church and Bible Study Fellowship and so on. I even thought about a friend of ours at church, who from the time we mentioned that we were going to have a baby, has on many occasions prayed that she would come to know Jesus at an early age.

While I would like to breathe a huge sigh of relief and say, “she’s going to heaven,” I realize that now begins the tough moments of following through on her commitment. “Annalía,” I said, “I’m so proud of you. Mommy and Daddy want to help you follow Jesus. So, we’re going to remind you of your decision, okay?”

“Okay,” she said.

An R.C. Sproul podcasthas been resonating in my ears. On one of his episodes having to do with Joshua, he talks about the phrase, “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” Dr. Sproul said something like, “What does it mean to train up a child? Does it mean we hope that at some point they’ll come to follow the Lord just by hearing about it? No, it’s more than that. It’s an active training and teaching and molding of our children.” The most important thing we can do as parents, relatives, and friends now is to tell her how proud we are, remind her of her commitment, and help her to live every day following Jesus.

With kids, you always wonder how “real” those commitments are, and if they’ll just forget it about it in an hour or two. Well, on Thursday, a few days after her decision, as we were going around a circle saying what we were thankful for, without any prompting, Annalía said, “I’m thankful for following Jesus.”

I’ve never been prouder to see my daughter taking those first baby steps in her lifetime commitment of following her Heavenly Father.